I even wrote a short story in my teens that bears witness to the state of mind that has plagued most of my life. It’s about a woman who always dreamed of being a writer, but died at her typewriter, manuscript unfinished.
I imagined myself as a modern-day Emily Dickinson, a reclusive woman whose poetry would be found in a trunk after her death. To give Emily some credit… she at least tried to get her poetry published! I, on the other hand, have been too fearful to try, too overwhelmed by the big machines of the publishing and music industries, and too bogged down in “I’m not good enough” mentality.
When cancer struck, I decided to try a bit harder because I didn’t have much time left. I vacillated between “Hurry up!” and “Never mind. There isn’t time.” Filling up my trunk with unfinished manuscripts seemed to be the easiest course of action.
Then God threw me a curve: I was going to live! The biggest blessing of my cancer journey was how it drew me closer to God. I relished my time with Him. I drew strength from his Word. And He used that time to build me up and to remind me of who I was in Him. I am a daughter of the King! Everything I have that is good comes from Him, including my musical and creative talent.
I have succumbed, not to death, but to God’s call on my life. I am consumed with a fire to use my gifts for His Glory.
Most of my musical life was spent playing and singing in my bedroom. I wrote songs no one heard. Every once in a while, I would sing and play in church or at a retreat, on a small stage or among friends, usually with positive responses from listeners. But I had no idea what to do with this gift from God. No significant training, no “connections,” no knowledge of how to succeed.
The Internet made it possible for me to express myself through writing and to “hang out a shingle” so to speak, advertising my music persona. I started “playing out,” and people started asking me for a CD! I couldn’t afford to record a CD, and even if I could, I didn’t know who to trust to help me. What if I managed to record a CD and couldn’t sell it? How could I book a speaking/performing tour if I had no experience? I knew I needed coaching, but, again… how would I know who to trust?
I had evolved from dreamer to dabbler, and I was frozen with fear, not to mention a lack of focus and direction. All I knew was that God had put this call on my life, and I couldn’t just continue to sing in my bedroom and hope to touch someone’s life with God’s grace.
The Internet came through for me a second time. That’s where I found Incubator Creative Group, which I believe is an answer to the prayer of my heart. Never before had I even heard of an organization that was dedicated to nurturing musicians and helping them turn their talent into a sustainable ministry. Management companies in any creative industry — speaking, writing, performing— don’t give you the time of day unless you’ve already established yourself in some way. The problem was, I had no idea how to do that. But through a nine-month process of getting to know Incubator and letting them get to know me, God forged a perfect alliance.
Incubator is different from other artist management groups in myriads of ways! First of all, their focus is ministry: using God’s gifts to change people’s lives. This starts with developing the artist… doing the HEART work and equipping me for ministry, helping me manage my ministry as an entrepreneur manages a business, and of course, providing musical, performance, and recording training and education. They have become my partner in this ministry, and I am truly blessed.
Finally I can see a pathway to becoming who God wants me to be. I’m confident that He has bigger plans than I could ever imagine, and that Incubator is an instrument for helping me bring His love and grace to people around me. While I have always been a big dreamer, I have never sought to be a star. I have simply wanted to sow Truth into people’s lives. Incubator knows that this is done through individual relationships, and they have the perfect method and tools to help me do that… by “doing small in a big way,” and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity.
