When I was 7 years old I had a dream of a ministry that
would impact peoples lives. I would be singing and preaching and people would
be laying down the things in their lives that were consuming them. After many
years of life and graduating with a BA in music, I went to a Christian
concert. The Spirit of God was so
strong and I felt as if God could have done so much in peoples lives. But, to
my dismay, the performers just said, thank you and good night and sent everyone
home. I felt as if they had missed a
great opportunity. I started on my
journey that night to realize that I was as much if not more of a minister than
I was a musician.
Through the years I tried and tried to create the ministry
that God had placed inside of me. There
were moments of greatness, but it just was not happening. I realized to make it in the Christian music
industry you had to put music first and God second. It was not for me, so I pursued pastoral ministry because I knew
I wanted to help people in their spiritual life.
Because of the pain God helped me grow through I wanted to
do the same for others. I went to
seminary to learn how to do just that.
I went through years of trying to prove myself to several denominations
so that I could have their approval and permission to preach and teach in their
churches. Because of my learning
disabilities I was unable to pass the tests that were given to me. I was unable to write in the way they wanted
and was unable to be what they wanted me to be.
It was devastating.
Not only did I feel as if one dream had died but my ‘second choice’
dream was also failing. This was not because I was not educated, did not
fulfill the requirements, or even did not have an obvious call on my life. It
was because I did not write the things they wanted me to right and was not
playing the game correctly. I took a
step back and realized that I was chasing ordination and not God. This was just like my frustration with the
Christian Music industry! So, I took a job that lasted about a year and at the
end of my time there my husband told me I should check Incubator out.
“What is Incubator?” I asked. Samuel continued to tell me that he had placed a song on their
sight 10 years ago when we were dating when he was thinking of doing Christian
music. They had contacted him in
January of 2013 by e-mail saying he should look at what they are about. He told them that he was more into classical
music now but that they may want to talk to his wife. So in February of 2013 I started listening to the free online
conferences to check them out. I started to realize they were focused on
ministry and that music was just the byproduct of the ministry. As I listened
more and more I realized that they had so many of the values that I hold dear
in my life and in my ministry.
I knew I did not want to be part of the music industry. I knew that I was meant for ministry first
and music second and here they were saying the same things I had in my
heart. Every time I listened to
something new I got a confirmation in my spirit that I needed to listen more.
Samuel and I decided to keep going and
make an investment in this for a short time to see if this was God's next step
in my life and I entered into the application process.
Incubator said it would be lengthy — and it was. Every step that we took gave us more and
more confirmation that this was right.
What was remarkable was that I was watching the dream that God had given
me when I was 7 years old and the expanding of that dream through out my life
coming back to life. Before when I
would think of that lost dream I would cry tears of pain and loose. Now, I was seeing it re-birthed inside of me
and there were people who wanted to help me bring that dream to fruition. Now, I cry tears of joy. I have so much expectation that God is going
to do great things in my life and thank God that Incubator was there to show me
the way.
I have learned that if God gives you a dream, NEVER LET IT
GO. Keep it in your heart and one day
God will open the doors that need to open so that that dream can become a
reality. Incubator is helping me understand what I need to do to make this
dream a reality financially and spiritually.
I need to learn so much about the business side of things. I am a visionary person and I need that wise
voice helping me see where and when things should happen. I have given my ministry to them to help me
understand how to wisely get to the next step.
Just like Abraham was grateful to God for giving him his dream after he
was asked to sacrifice it, I to am grateful to God for what is to come is not
of me but of God.
